Life can be arduous if you lose something or someone important to you. Even so, you have to move on and find a way to free yourself by letting go. Nobody knows why what happens happens, but the best you can do when facing loss is just release whatever or whoever you have lost, and move on. Here’s how.
We Have No Control Over What Happens
Life can be very tough. It’s unfortunate but true. Things always have the potential of going awry. One day you may be living your best life and the next, tragedy strikes. None of us can control how the world works and we are resigned to reacting to what has happened. However, if you realize that it’s your reaction that matters and not necessarily what has happened, you can start the process of letting go and moving on.
My Not-so-Epic Heartbreak
I lost someone I really loved and, had everything gone to plan, would have settled down with. I gave my all, in every sense of the world, and yet, that was not enough. The sad thing is that someone else gave their all to me too and my leaving to pursue this other person also hurt them as the other person leaving hurt me.
Read the My Epic Heartbreak article below.
Read more on Relationships.
A Deep Pain of Rejection
It’s so difficult to remove someone important from your life for whatever reason. Even more, things don’t get easier just because your intentions were good. The world is fallen and even your good intentions and love sometimes aren’t enough to make someone stay. In the end, you are left with a deep pain of rejection and are disoriented wondering why, if your intentions were good, would the universe not let them see that you love them and care and would never hurt them.
Healing isn’t Linear, It Takes Time
I took two years getting over someone and to be honest, I get bursts of deep feelings and pain even today. It was and has been a wound that I’ve been carrying with me all this time. Love is fickle and to love someone so much and get attached sometimes is the wrong move. No need to give everything to someone just because you’re currently in love with them. Rather, it is better you hold out until they have proven worthy of your love and committed to you and the relationship.
It’s Not Your Fault
The world just happens even when you’re in love and even seemingly small things can wreck your relationship. Maybe you spoke out of tongue and that person’s feelings about you changed. I’m here to tell you that it’s not your fault. As I have learned, some people are broken and it’s not your responsibility to save or heal them. Therefore, if you allow yourself to step back and let them deal with their brokenness, you’ll avoid breaking yourself, trying to help save a broken person. It’s painful to know you can’t help and it can be the hardest thing to walk away from someone you know is broken but for your own good, please just find a way to step back and let go.
Life is an Adventure, Flow with It
We think of life as a linear path but it is anything but. Life isn’t a train ride from point A to point B. Rather it is a journey via road, air, sea, and train, among many other forms, through a universe of paths, landscapes, and destinations. Life is an adventure and the more you try to control it, the less control you will end up having. This is part of the backwards law.
The Backwards Law and Letting Go
The backwards law states that the more you try to impact something, the less impact you feel you have and the more unimpactful you end up being. For instance, if you try to love someone so hard and beat loneliness, the less love you feel is in your life, and the more lonely you are. Even more painfully, the less likely you are to end up with them or make them see that your love is true and pure. As such, what then is the best thing to do when you want something or someone so bad?
The best course of action is to stop trying. Stop chasing whoever or whatever it is that you want. Some philosophers also say to stop wanting in the first place. Did you get that? Stop wanting and stop desiring. The root of all suffering is desire. The more you seek out something, the less of it you feel you actually have. If I seek out a fortune, the less fortunate I’ll feel and the less fulfilled I’ll be with whatever I have. More isn’t always more.
More isn’t Always More
We are brought up to think that having more of anything is always more. Truth is, if it’s more than you actually need, it always isn’t. If I have enough of something, then I should be happy because my needs are met. The true things in life are satiable; desires aren’t. I can eat food and be satisfied. I can earn money and meet all my needs. However, I’ll never get enough of money, power, or respect. Therefore, instead of wasting my time and energy chasing insatiable desires, it is better than I stop desiring anything and spend my time enjoying life and what I already have. By letting those desires go, I break the hamster well of always wanting things that I cannot get enough of. That is the benefit of letting go.
Let Go, It’s Time
Let go. Follow the flow of life. As it is said, go with the flow. The more you try to beat pain or heartbreak the more it persists in your life. Even more, it may block you from seeing new things and new people in your life who are deserving of your love. It blocks your blessings. The pain and insistence on holding on to something do. Remove yourself, however long it takes, from the pit of pain and heartbreak and when you are not trying to beat it and let it dissipates naturally, you can alleviate your suffering.
It’s over. No more pain or heartbreak. No more letting that person always hold over you, your love them. No more letting the pain occupy space in your mind and heart. No more letting pain and heartbreak take over your life. You’re in control now. You’ve got this and more importantly, you’ve got you. You are a new person today and you’re better. You’re perfect and we love you. Let go. It’s time you were free and happy to welcome new things and new people in your life. The only way to do that is by letting go.