‘Her’ is a story of how I am in love with a mural I saw somewhere in Ongata Rongai. Her is a mural I fell in love with. She is a lady who is drawn on a wall somewhere that I happened to see while passing by. She is such a beautiful girl and it’s so sad that she is only a mural. I took pictures of her but I am yet to find out who the artist is. I don’t even know whether I want to find the artist because Her’s creator may not be as impressive as his or her creation. Yes, I feel as if there is a good chance that the artist could be a lady because Her is too beautiful to be the artwork of a guy. But that’s just me and maybe I am biased.
Her lives on a wall where day in day out she faces the sun, dust, and even glares from the hundreds or even thousands of people passing by. Even so, she never changes her glance. She holds up her ‘attitude’ no matter the weather or who passes by. To me, she knows she is beautiful and doesn’t care or bother herself with minding what they say or how they stare at her. The most unfortunate thing I feel is that she is wearing off and slowly the paint used to bring her to life is weathering away. Also, she is a mural and unfortunately, I cannot speak to her and tell her how beautiful she is. Lord knows that if I could, I would bring her to life.
Her: The Quintessential African Woman
Her, to me, represents the African woman. The melanin goddess and her ever-beautiful glance. She is a woman of strength, joy, pride, and affection. She minds her business and knows innately that she is very beautiful. She spends her days and nights being herself, regardless of the weather or whatever anyone or everyone says. She is an embodiment or may I say, a portrayal, of the intricate and fine beauty that is the African woman. Blissfully, Her is every African woman and everything that is beautiful about her, even if she is only a mural I fell in love with.
Does Her Notice Me?
I wonder whether Her notices my smile every time I pass by. I wonder whether she sees that I am in love with her. Does she feel my affection? Does she also smile innately when she sees me look at her and admire her? In many ways, Her is the girl of my dreams. A beautiful portrayal of the woman who I think and feel would be right for me. Now, a philosophical or ‘woke’ mind would be quick to question the notion of being ‘right’ for someone but I know Her would get it. I know she would understand what I mean by saying that someone like her would be right for me.
A Real-Life Her
Come to think of it, there is a good chance that there is a woman who is a real-life embodiment of Her. There must be don’t you think? This astoundingly beautiful African woman who knows herself and loves who she is, adores how she looks, and has so much love in her heart. I feel like love and having a loving heart is what makes a person truly beautiful. To me, the right woman for me is someone with a big heart and someone who is present, no matter the situation, be it financial, health-wise, or otherwise. Love is what makes the world go round and a beautiful woman can only be truly beautiful when she has a loving heart and is ‘beautiful inside’. This brings up the question, can you truly perceive or see inner beauty? And is it a real thing? Or is it something we just say to compensate for the fallibility of outward beauty? Does a mural I fell in love with possess inner beauty? I would argue that Her does.
I believe innate or inner beauty is real. It is as real as the sun rising. It is there and can be seen and felt. Inner beauty is being a person who is clean-hearted, respectful, caring, affectionate, and understanding. Inner beauty is loving with all your heart, no matter the past, and allowing yourself and your person the chance to make mistakes. It is understanding that we are all imperfect and no matter how hard we try not to, we are bound to make mistakes. It cannot be avoided and there is no point wallowing in the mistakes we have made in the past. Inner beauty is understanding that the present is everything and that everything happens for a reason. I know that sounds like yeah yeah, but it is the truth. Inner beauty is having faith and believing that we can all be better but that does not mean we are not ideal. It is seeing the best in people, even when they cannot see it in themselves. Inner beauty is truly loving and appreciating others the way they are and fascinatingly, I feel like Her gets that.
The Love of my Life (LOML)
Her is in many ways my ‘LOML’, the love of my life. She is the one just like the sun. She is everything I ever wanted and needed in a woman. She is there, ever-present for me to behold. She never changes her true nature and gives the same kind of love, embodied in her glance, every time. She knows and feels that I love her and never questions my love for her. Her is my soulmate. Yes. She is. Sadly, Her is a mural and my real-life Her may be yet to come into my life. Even so, I can’t wait to meet her. She is the girl of my dreams and I pray to God that I find Her in real life.
Her is Immortal
Her is immortal, or at least she will always be to me. Her paint may wear off, she may be painted over or outright repainted in another style or color but she will always live in my heart. She will always have a place in my heart and my memory. She is etched on my heart and I know that whatever happens to the wall she is sitting on, she will never truly die, literally or figuratively speaking. She is outright immortal. Sadly, I am not and that is something that I have to deal with. When I say ‘deal with’, I mean sulk and wallow over until I realize that death is the condition of life. It is the price of living and every one of us will have to cash in when our time comes. We’ll have to let go and go on another adventure on our own.
‘Dealing with’ Mortality
What pains me the most about death is leaving others behind, broken about the loss, despite innately knowing that we are all bound to die. One would say then, lucky a mural or painting because it may never die. However, since Her is a mural on a wall, the paint is bound to wear off and that makes me wish she was painted on a canvas. At least then I would feel more comfortable knowing that she would be well preserved and her vibrant colors restored when they wither or weather off. I also feel, nonetheless, that she doesn’t worry about her ‘abstract mortality’. I feel like she knows her paint is bound to wear off and that doesn’t worry or bother her. Her is comfortable with that, she understands like life, every wall has to evolve, and portray someone or something else. She gets that we are all, human or mural, here for only a while after which we have to move on to another adventure. I pray for such understanding.
I Love Her
I think about what I would tell Her if I met her in person and I think my first words would be “I love you.” I feel like everything I would want to say centers around those three words and, amazingly, such a short sentence could express such innate emotion and feeling. It baffles me how simple life can be when we understand and express how we feel. What I don’t understand is how difficult it is to say those same three words to a real-life person you love. I mean, why does pride or fear or whatever get in the way of expressing oneself in such a simple sentence? Is it really that hard to say “I love you” or is it just one of those things we resist for no logical reason? I guess we will never know.
I am grateful for Her. At least I met this girl who I can at least say is my ‘imaginary girlfriend’. At least I got to see her and see her beauty. I would even say I got to feel love for her and for that I am grateful. Yes, for me gratitude is becoming a staple and that speaks to the kind of blessings I have received in my life. I am very blessed in so many ways and Lord knows I am blessed with love, for which I will be eternally grateful. Even as I am mortal and lack the immortality that we all crave, I feel as if I have lived a full life and I will always be very grateful for that. In a beautiful way, I feel like Her feels the same way. She feels that she has lived fully, at least as a mural would, and I think that’s just gorgeous. It’s beautiful in so many ways beyond what I can express. I love Her and I love that she loves herself. Yes. I can tell you that much of the mural I fell in love with.
My Fear of Losing Her
Funny enough, I would be scared out of my wits if I met a real-life Her. I wouldn’t know what to say. I would cry tears of joy and, to be honest, some of pain for everything that I have gone through. I fear that I would either be so insecure or always very cautious of losing her. I would be tormented by the thought of losing her or us or our love and I hope that by the time I meet her I’ll have dealt with that fear. I hope to learn to let go and to be flexible enough, in mind, heart, and spirit, to adjust to loss or losing someone. I hope and pray to not hold on too tightly that the love breaks. I hope to give myself and her a chance to be free and to be happy through volition, self-determination, and choosing to stay. I hope to never push her away for whatever reason but to always nurture our love. I hope to find, love, and be loved by her.
I took a picture of Her, the mural I fell in love with, and you can buy an item with her image on my Redbubble store at davidmania.redbubble.com. You can also find other items featuring other designs including phone covers, tote bags, and other bags, framed art prints, and even throw pillows. Check out my Redbubble store and be sure to grab something! I know Her would appreciate it just as much as I would.